


thank you, phil.

by taniavee28



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2017 Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Cute Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Dan Howell - Freeform, Dan Howell Loves Phil Lester, Dan Howell/Phil Lester Comfort, Dan Howell/Phil Lester Drabble, Dan Howell/Phil Lester Fluff, Dan Howell/Phil Lester One Shot, Domestic Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Established Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Inspired by Phil Lester's Twitter, M/M, Mentions of depressive thoughts, Phil Lester - Freeform, Phil Lester Loves Dan Howell, Phil Lester's Birthday, YouTuber Dan Howell, YouTuber Phil Lester, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 13:34:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13525347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taniavee28/pseuds/taniavee28
Summary: my fluffy take of what probably happened on the way home from the hamilton show. (also up on wattpad!)





	thank you, phil.

**Author's Note:**

> a/n : v v short drabble written for phil's birthday, i apologise for the complete lack of hamilton references in this but this was one of the things that came after a looong writer's block. but hey that's not what matters, please continue reading and i hope that the tooth-rotting fluff helps make your day a little happier ♡
> 
> trigger warning : slightly depressive thoughts, nothing dark, but please don't read if you feel like you'd get triggered okay, your health matters ♡♡

 

\---

the ride home from the hamilton show was one sodden in a comfortable silence, other than the sounds of the slight drizzle pattering down the windows, and the soft noise of soothing music emanating from the car radio.

elvis presley was on that night, apparently.

phil lester lay on the backseat of their cab, shoulders relaxed and fingers casually scrolling downwards on his twitter feed. dan had his phone clicked off and on his lap, fixing his gaze out of the window, enjoying the rolling view of the city skyline at night. it all truly was breathtaking, with the air outside crisp and cool - an after-rain thing, elvis serenading them both in the background, the city lights dotting the sky like twinkling stars of different colours, the architecture a perfect clash of worlds old and new; of Victorian and modern, the streets wet from rain; little puddles forming that splashed when tires sliced through them, some of the runaway water sluicing to the drains into the dark underground sewers of london.

he also couldn't help sneak little glances at the being next to him absorbed in the little red device engulfed by his large palms, the light illuminating his face, adding a soft glow to his pale face and complimenting it in a way he'd always loved admiring, where it softened the sharp lines of his face.

dan had always wondered how did he manage to keep the person next to him in his life for so long. how was it that someone like phil - as weird as he was, he was someone truly beautiful and lovely - would stick with the mess that he is for years now. phil was one of the few people who knew about his depression, and how some days were painted in shades of whitegreyblack, where he couldn't feel the life in the tips of his fingers and toes, where anything and everything took a huge effort, and where the spot his heart was supposed to be was occupied by a heavy, empty void. phil knew about his insecurities and his horrid way with dealing with jealousy and all of the things that made him less beautiful than how phil told him in hushed whispers at the darkest of nights. 

he knew, and yet, he decided to stay. 

phil had caught dan looking at him with a thoughtful look from the corner of his eye, and he was never one good with curiosity, because if something started bugging at him its usually never left him alone until he got to the bottom of it.

it didn't help that dan's mind was a place that wandered a lot - and way too quickly, and he worried and cared a lot more about things than he truly let on. phil didn't mind dan thinking about nicer things, but it sent twangs of hurt when dan told him about the darker things that'd often cross his mind. it hurt him that dan's mind would be cruel to him a lot more often than his own did, but he truly appreciated it whenever dan pulls him aside on an especially rough day and lets at least a little bit of the turbulent storm out in flurries of words occasionally accompanied by rivulets of tears streaming down his cheeks. phil would just lay with him in silence and hold him while dan trembled and shook silently, whispering sweet little words into his ear that dan needed to hear. he'd tickle his side softly in an attempt to make him laugh, and dan being the squeamish child he was would giggle and squirm and squeak at phil to "stop that, you snek!" and slowly the light would return to his eyes, bit by bit, one shard at a time.

so phil clicked his phone shut and set it on his lap, his voice coming out in a hoarse whisper as he asked, "what are you thinking about, dan?"

dan blinked, snapping back to reality, and meets the bright, bluegreenyellow eyes of phil as they bore into his chestnut brown ones, looking for the little clues that would reveal the answers to his questions. he noticed the way lights fell on his face, in a continuous loop of gold and darkness as the cab cut through the partially empty streets. he especially noticed how his eyes managed to stay bright and filled with life and curiosity and other emotions he couldn't quite place - even when the lights were out and it was that three seconds of darkness before the next beam of light. meanwhile, elvis's melodious voice rendered _can't help falling in love in the background,_ and deep inside, he found himself singing the song, and meaning every word of it to the man sitting opposite him.

he inhaled. he let go.

and he said in a soft voice, "about how much i need to thank you."

"what for?"

"for sticking with me."

phil smiled softly.

"well its not like i had a choice, dani snot on fire. but then again, even if i did, i'd still choose to stick with you though, you rat."

dan tried to give him a look for completely ruining the moment, but he couldn't stop the chuckles rumbling from within. "i mean, you would have been lonely if i left abruptly so you made the right move by sticking, you buffoon."

after a pause, dan continued, "i mean it, phil. thanks for sticking with self-depreciating old me. thanks for caring when a lot of other people didn't. i don't say it enough, but i...i really appreciate it."

"well, when it comes to love, caring is a given, y'know. its one of those things that make love one if the most beautiful things, because you tend to look past everything and just care for them." phil added, keeping his voice low so as to not draw any attention from the cabbie. he exchanged a soft smile with dan, the younger man's dimpled one filling his insides with a warm, buzzing feeling.

a comfortable silence fell in between them again, as elvis ended his song in a flourish. dan picked his phone, checking the time, blessing his luck as he clicked it shut again and slid it into his pocket.

00:00, 30th Jan 2018.

he reached for phil and gave his cheek a little peck, noting how his eyes widened in surprise, wrapping his arms around his waist and whispering " happy birthday, phil," softly in his ear. phil put his arms around dan in return, and pressed his forehead on dan's.

"thank you, bear."

\---

afterward, when phil politely handed the fares to the aged man sitting in front, his eyes fluttered from phil to dan and back at phil again, and he smiled softly, a very knowing look in his eyes. "happy birthday, lad," he said, his voice carrying a distinctly northern accent.

phil felt his cheeks reddening as he thanked him and exited the cab, closing the doors behind him. the taxi driver rode off into the night, his head filled with rose-tinted memories of his own.

 _ahh, young love_.

\---

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: well that sucked. and it grew. ;)  
> ahh, well, i hope you had a good time reading this! ♡
> 
> don't mind me here, fuming because of that goddamned philussy birthday cake. jesus.


End file.
